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The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.Another BPD symptom that particularly impacts relationships is called abandonment sensitivity.For example, if a loved one with BPD is engaging in impulsive behaviors like going on spending sprees, it can cause major stress within the family.In addition, suicidal gestures can be scary for romantic partners and can introduce lots of stress into the relationship.You may be surprised to learn that scientific research has confirmed that people with BPD tend to have very stormy romantic relationships characterized by a great deal of tumult and dysfunction.For example, one study demonstrated that women with BPD symptoms reported greater chronic relationship stress and more frequent conflicts.Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling absolutely desperate and devastated.
Likewise, if you have been diagnosed with BPD, it can be helpful to think about how your symptoms have affected your romantic relationships.
In essence, people with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them.
However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships.
When a person with BPD realizes that her new partner is not faultless, that image of the perfect (idealized) soul mate can come crashing down.
Because people with BPD struggle with dichotomous thinking, or seeing things only in black and white, they can have trouble recognizing the fact that most people make mistakes even when they mean well.